Forgiveness

Forgiveness is:

• Not at an verbal, intellectual or emotional level.
• Not disembodied from our personal evolution.
• Does not simply involve forgiving, forgetting, and moving on with life.
• Not something to give, make or force.
• In order to live and learn wholly we need to feel, care and experience vulnerability.
• Life is not a free ride. 
• At some point in time, we all experience different levels and intensity of anger, sorrow, pain, hurt, bruise, feeling broken, betrayal, despair, and devastation. Treat such times as an orienteering challenge to find our way back, bruised, broken but stronger for the life journey.
• Caring allows us to learn as resentment is unsustainable. 
• In order to forgive, it is essential to let go of current way of making sense of what happened (event, corresponding workflow/process, outcome, unintended consequences). One needs to embrace complexity of self, others, the problem, and the events around the transgression (event and its aftermath). Parallel complexity is required to meet or embrace it. Take time to find the multiplicity within a particular injury we have experienced. Uncover the balance within the injury and identify and re-ecologize the event. 
• Forgiveness is something learned. Learning must take place -- learning that bridges the physical, intellectual, emotional and mental realms. Learning means we can heal and evolve. Although the involved mutual learning appears one sided, the calibrations and adjustments can be sensed and could be conscious.
• Through conflict active state, we learn to know the situation and ourselves within at many levels. Usually the learning is itself a movement at which the pain is not healed so much as it has become obsolete.

[Notes from Nora Bateson's book] [1].

Reference:

1. Nora Bateson., & Nora Bateson|AUTHOR. (2017). Small Arcs of Larger Circles: Framing Through Other Patterns. Triarchy Press.